Act III:

Le Seul Bohemian

21 July 2014

Months later, and the pain of having now lost both my brothers to the anguishing, uncontrollable, and turbulent forces of life, whose left and right hands have now reached out and claimed its prize for each daunting clutch.  And here I sit, day after day, night after night, wondering how am I to finish this grandiose journey without my two deputies?  I have flown back home now twice, and about to head out a third time, in the coming days, venturing back down to help with family affairs.  The dust has begun to settle, from the horrific events of that late April day, to the sad and empty cool day in early May, where we bid our solemn valedictions and forever parted from the vessel that carried his gentle soul for 23 years.  

Yet, I can’t shake the thoughts constantly haunting me, poking and prodding and begging to know why I was left alone...alone to grow old and fade away in the sand of Time’s hourglass, or like a leaf freshly fallen into the gentle breeze, down a lone road, shouldered by a canopy of wilting trees leading off into the horizon. As the thoughts nudge deeper, the realization of being alone hits harder with every ticking of the clock; I’m now alone to watch my parents (and step parents, for that matter) grow older and frail and eventually leave me, an orphan I was destined to be.

Perhaps that is why I inherently spent my life in seclusion and lonesomeness, being very independent and generally stayed away from everyone, knowing that I would lose them and didn’t want to get too close (physically, emotionally, etc.), so as not to hurt too much in the end. I’m always running from the sunset, but almost always end up caught by the gaze of the moon and the net of her twinkling stars.

And now, here I sit, up late at night, as usual when I do my writing, and I must confess, that just about everyone who has made my heart beat, and brought renewed redness to the tender ever-flexing muscle within my thoracic cavity, has stumbled upon their stage left from my life. And finally, as I now sit alone in the royal Theatre of Life, the imperial chandelier above me harbors the faint flicker of illumination, and the stately red velvet curtains kindly remain — for now — open.

Waiting for Act III.

***

Opening of the show!

Turning the page back just a bit, I’d like to share with you one of the happiest events of my life. Last month, Wade and I were sitting around the house just sort of doing nothing, when suddenly he mentions to me that Cher — yes, CHER, the one and only — was in town for one night for her “D2K” (Dress 2 Kill) concert. Suddenly, I started looking online to see if we could get tickets, and with great luck I found some!  Actually, I found 2 tickets, just 16 rows back on the main floor, and the price dropped a little bit just before I purchased, so I actually ended up getting two tickets cheaper than normally advertised.

For years, I have heard of so many amazing stories from others who went to Cher’s “Farewell” and “Final Farewell” tour concerts, and never thought in my wildest dreams that I would make it to see Cher in Concert. What’s funny, Cyndi Lauper was her opening act and this was actually my second or third time seeing here in concert. I saw her a couple times back in 2007 and 2008, near Washington, D.C. Cher was just as amazing as ever, with all the elaborate stage props, stunning lights, erotic dancers, and of course multiple costume changes, all for which she is well known! Having always thought I would never live to see the day I saw Cher in person, at one point during the show, I turned to Wade and exclaimed, “Now...I have lived!” Then we both laughed and just had the time of our lives enjoying the show.

Cher Concert, D2K, 28June2014: Picture Perfect!

Cher Concert, D2K, 28June2014, during "Believe"

 What really topped this entire night off, beyond all else, was that it was the kickoff to Seattle Pride Weekend, which I normally don’t get into, because it’s just not my scene, but we had a FABULOUS time! I posted some pictures below, just a sampling of the night. I also posted several videos and other pictures on my Facebook, for those who are connected with me via that social sinful umbilical cord.

Cher Concert, D2K, 28June2014

It was a great show, and she performed many new hits, and some of the classics of course. What’s funny, though, after the ceremonial extravagant opening song, Cher started talking to the audience; she said this she knows she’s had 2 “farewell” tours, but this was it! This was her final farewell tour. She quipped, “I’m 68 f#cking years old! What’s your grandmother doing tonight?”  The stadium roared with laughter! She said she didn’t feel a since of “completion” from the last two, like there was something left out, and she knew so many people still wanted the chance to see her, if not for the last time, at least for the first time, so she decided to hit the road again and, as she put it, “put on the show of my life!”

Cher Concert, D2K, 28June2014, during her final #, she rose out over the crowd and sang her last ballad.

***

House, taken 4July2014

House, taken 4July2014

In other news, the new house is coming along swimmingly. We got it (nearly) completely decorated and furnished, and everything unpacked. We installed solar lights on the fence posts in the backyard, and the units each offer a dim constant illumination and turn on brightly when they detect any kind of motion. I really love these lights! Of course...anyone who knows me, knows how much I love decorative lights! :) 

We’ve nearly finished getting all the LED multicolor-changing lights installed everywhere I want them; above the kitchen cabinets, on Helen Keller, behind the TV and so on... IS THERE NO END?!? :)

One of the greatest things happened just recently, which I could never have predicted, even in my wildest dreams. I was able to complete a no-cost refinance on my house, reducing the rate to a 30-year fixed 3.75% and ultimately reducing the monthly payment by nearly 20%.

Anyway, as some of you know, I left working for the VA because of reasons I cannot yet fully disclose until this entire investigation is complete, but suffice to say, those who continuously mistreated, harassed and intimidated me, will soon face their day of remuneration. For the time being, I am focused on helping my family through this difficult time, as I stated earlier, and I am doing my best to help my mom, with all her burdens and afflictions, and others close and dear to me. I have also devoted much of my time to getting some — what I so eloquently call — administrative issues resolved, most of which, those close to me are quite aware of and understandably they are particularly personal, at least for the time being.  I have also resumed some of the writing projects that I put on the back burner so long ago. Hopefully, I’ll eventually complete this herculean task of finishing my novel, but shit keeps coming up. If it’s not one distraction then it’s another, and I’ve now been working on this particular project for nearly 15 years. But, to my defense, in the interim, I did work on several other writing projects, including both blogs, and all the other bullshit that transpired somewhere betwixt the beginning and Journeys end.

Well, it’s now 4:30am and I need to get some rest. It’s a hectic week and I fly out Wednesday night on a late redeye making my way eastward. As promised in the previous installment, the Journey continues, through the placid and even the perilous times.

Simply put, I’m a silent, lonely artist whose canvas starts out a blank sheet of paper, and slowly fills with jots of deep thought and emotion, until finally, unveiling a new composition and eventually adding it to my repertoire.

I leave you now with this final thought: We are always learning something new in life, even if sometimes the light shines brightest in the rearview mirror.

Until next time…

NK

(PS: Comments are always welcome…and if anyone knows how I can get a good writing gig, let me know!)