Le Seul Bohemian
21 July 2014
Months later, and the pain of having now lost both my brothers to
the anguishing, uncontrollable, and turbulent forces of life, whose left and
right hands have now reached out and claimed its prize for each daunting
clutch. And here I sit, day after day,
night after night, wondering how am I to finish this grandiose journey without
my two deputies? I have flown back home
now twice, and about to head out a third time, in the coming days, venturing back
down to help with family affairs. The
dust has begun to settle, from the horrific events of that late April day, to
the sad and empty cool day in early May, where we bid our solemn valedictions and
forever parted from the vessel that carried his gentle soul for 23 years.
Yet, I can’t shake the thoughts constantly haunting
me, poking and prodding and begging to know why I was left alone...alone to
grow old and fade away in the sand of Time’s hourglass, or like a leaf freshly fallen into the gentle breeze,
down a lone road, shouldered by a canopy of wilting trees leading off into the
horizon. As the thoughts nudge deeper, the realization of being alone hits
harder with every ticking of the clock; I’m now alone to watch my parents (and step parents,
for that matter) grow older and frail and eventually leave me, an
orphan I was destined to be.
Perhaps that is why I inherently spent my life in seclusion
and lonesomeness, being very independent and generally stayed away from
everyone, knowing that I would lose them and didn’t want to get too close (physically,
emotionally, etc.), so as not to hurt too much in the end. I’m always
running from the sunset, but almost always end up caught by the gaze of the
moon and the net of her twinkling stars.
And now, here I sit, up late at night, as usual
when I do my writing, and I must confess, that just about everyone who has made
my heart beat, and brought renewed redness to the tender ever-flexing muscle
within my thoracic cavity, has stumbled upon their stage left from my life. And
finally, as I now sit alone in the royal Theatre of Life, the imperial
chandelier above me harbors the faint flicker of illumination, and the stately
red velvet curtains kindly remain — for now
— open.
Waiting for Act III.
***
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| Opening of the show! |
Turning the page back
just a bit, I’d like to share with you one of the happiest
events of my life. Last month, Wade and I were sitting around the house just
sort of doing nothing, when suddenly he mentions to me that Cher
— yes, CHER, the one and only — was in town for one night for her “D2K”
(Dress 2 Kill) concert. Suddenly, I started
looking online to see if we could get tickets, and with great luck I found
some! Actually, I found 2 tickets, just
16 rows back on the main floor, and the price dropped a little bit just before
I purchased, so I actually ended up getting two tickets cheaper than normally
advertised.
For years, I have heard
of so many amazing stories from others who went to Cher’s
“Farewell” and “Final Farewell” tour concerts, and never thought in my wildest
dreams that I would make it to see Cher in
Concert. What’s funny, Cyndi Lauper was her
opening act and this was actually my second or third time seeing here in
concert. I saw her a couple times back in 2007 and 2008, near Washington, D.C. Cher was just as amazing as ever, with all the elaborate
stage props, stunning lights, erotic dancers, and of course multiple costume
changes, all for which she is well known! Having always thought I would never
live to see the day I saw Cher in person, at
one point during the show, I turned to Wade and exclaimed, “Now...I have lived!” Then we both laughed and
just had the time of our lives enjoying the show.
 |
| Cher Concert, D2K, 28June2014: Picture Perfect! |
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| Cher Concert, D2K, 28June2014, during "Believe" |
What really topped this entire night off, beyond all else, was that it was the kickoff to Seattle Pride Weekend, which I normally don’t get into, because it’s just not my scene, but we had a FABULOUS time! I posted some pictures below, just a sampling of the night. I also posted several videos and other pictures on my Facebook, for those who are connected with me via that social sinful umbilical cord.
 |
| Cher Concert, D2K, 28June2014
It was a great show, and
she performed many new hits, and some of the classics of course. What’s funny,
though, after the ceremonial extravagant opening song, Cher started
talking to the audience; she said this she knows she’s had 2 “farewell” tours,
but this was it! This was her final farewell tour. She quipped, “I’m 68 f#cking years old! What’s your grandmother doing tonight?” The stadium roared with laughter! She
said she didn’t feel a since of “completion” from the last two, like there was
something left out, and she knew so many people still wanted the chance to see
her, if not for the last
time, at least for the first
time, so she decided to hit the road again and, as she put it, “put on the show of my life!”
|
 |
| Cher Concert, D2K, 28June2014, during her final #, she rose out over the crowd and sang her last ballad. |
***
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| House, taken 4July2014 |
 |
| House, taken 4July2014 |
In other news, the new
house is coming along swimmingly. We got it (nearly) completely decorated and furnished, and
everything unpacked. We installed solar lights on the fence posts in the
backyard, and the units each offer a dim constant illumination and turn on
brightly when they detect any kind of motion. I really love these lights! Of
course...anyone who knows me, knows how much I love decorative lights! :)
We’ve nearly finished
getting all the LED multicolor-changing lights installed everywhere I want
them; above the kitchen cabinets, on Helen Keller, behind the TV and so on... IS THERE NO
END?!? :)
One of the greatest things
happened just recently, which I could never have predicted, even in my wildest
dreams. I was able to complete a no-cost refinance on my house, reducing the
rate to a 30-year fixed 3.75% and ultimately reducing the monthly payment by
nearly 20%.
Anyway, as some of you
know, I left working for the VA because of reasons I cannot yet fully disclose
until this entire investigation is complete, but suffice to say, those who
continuously mistreated, harassed and intimidated me, will soon face their day
of remuneration. For the time being, I am focused on helping my family through
this difficult time, as I stated earlier, and I am doing my best to help my
mom, with all her burdens and afflictions, and others close and dear to me. I
have also devoted much of my time to getting some — what
I so eloquently call — administrative
issues resolved, most of which, those close to me are quite aware of and understandably
they are particularly personal, at least for the time being. I have also resumed some of the writing
projects that I put on the back burner so long ago. Hopefully, I’ll eventually
complete this herculean task of finishing my novel, but shit keeps coming up.
If it’s not one distraction then it’s another, and I’ve now been working on
this particular project for nearly 15 years. But, to my defense, in the
interim, I did work on several other writing projects, including both blogs,
and all the other bullshit that transpired somewhere betwixt the beginning and Journeys end.
Well, it’s now 4:30am and I
need to get some rest. It’s a hectic week and I fly out Wednesday night on a
late redeye making my way eastward. As promised in the previous installment,
the Journey
continues, through the placid and even the perilous times.
Simply put, I’m a silent, lonely artist whose
canvas starts out a blank sheet of paper, and slowly fills with jots of deep
thought and emotion, until finally, unveiling a new composition and eventually
adding it to my repertoire.
I leave you now with this
final thought: We
are always learning something new in life, even if sometimes the light shines
brightest in the rearview mirror.
Until next time…
NK
(PS:
Comments are always welcome…and if anyone knows how I can get a good writing
gig, let me know!)
